Some Useful Condescending Phrases

Some useful phrases to use as an Evil Overlord as given by Steve Meredith. These humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM).

1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Phrases:
am honored to support him as a candidate
am pleased to provide a reference for
am delighted to be called upon
am happy to recommend
am pleased to comment on
can offer only the highest recommendation for
first became acquainted with
first came to my attention when
has worked directly under my supervision
has been a pleasure to supervise
have known Ms. Doe for
have no hesitation in recommending
have been his supervisor since
her performance as a
his qualifications and performance
have had the opportunity to
in the past two years
is a pleasure to recommend
was a student in two of my classes
a creative problem-solver
always cheerful and dependable
always behaves professionally
broad range of skills
can attest to his integrity
careful attention to detail
comments are well thought out and clearly articulated
communicates her ideas clearly
communicates effectively in writing
completely loyal and trustworthy
demonstrated particular strengths in
follows tasks through to completion
gets along well with others
handles responsibility well
has a take-charge personality
has a flair for organization
her sensitivity and concern for others
is innovative and creative
is a tireless worker
is mature beyond her years
is intelligent and ambitious
is personable and easy to work with
keeps calm under pressure
meticulous attention to detail
one of our finest, most well-rounded undergraduates
outstanding leadership abilities
punctual and hard working
self-motivated individual
wide-range knowledge of
willing to go beyond what is required
willing to take on new responsibilities
works efficiently and effectively
works independently and effectively
works well with little supervisionevery confidence in her ability to
give my unqualified recommendation
has always proved satisfactory
has my highest recommendation
have admiration and respect for
have no reservations in
hope this information proves helpful
if I can further assist
if you have further questions
if you need additional information
if you would like more information
recommend without reservation
recommend her very highly
request your favorable consideration of
should be given serious consideration
should you have any questions
will meet your expectations
will be successful in any enterprise he undertakes
will be a credit to your
will measure up to your high standards
will be a great addition to
would be an asset to your program
would be a valuable addition to